Romantic Geek Girl

Danielle Monsch takes you through the softer side of geek

Darkly Dreaming – THE Romance Fantasy Anthology you all want!!!!

Peoples!

Long time no speak! I really should get in the habit of blogging at least a bit more, but like all of you out there, I’ll believe it when I see it  🙂  9781311727428

A HUGE, WONDEROUS, AMAZING, ABSOLUTELY FANTABULOUS piece of news! I’m part of a very limited time box set! Darkly Dreaming is a Fantasy Romance Anthology which moi and four other premiere authors of fantasy and paranormal – Elizabeth Hunter, Grace Draven, Kristen Painter, and Cate Rowan – get together to offer FIVE full-length novels for $.99!!!!

My contribution? Stone Guardian a’course! But even if you have SG, you want to pick up this set. $.99 wouldn’t even buy you one of these books during most of the year, so all five is a ridiculous bargain.

Why we doing such a crazy thing? Promotion of course! And like any good promotion, this is a limited time offer – one month for this one, to be exact. So pick it up NOW!!!!  😀

The set goes live on September 15. You can preorder right now at Amazon, Apple iBooks, and Smashwords, and I’ll give you the links to the other stores as they become available.

 

 

 

 

 

SWAG Giveaway!

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RT SWAG Giveaway!!!

Okay, maybe most of the swag comes from me and only a little from RT! Honestly, in previous years I’ve gotten so much more, but that was before I went to the Romantic Times Convention as an author and actually had to work!

Still, I hope this is nifty enough it will give someone a thrill. From me, we have a gargoyle tote bag, notebooks with the various book covers (both currently out and future books) a mousepad, and a Fallon(!) coffee mug, and I will be including the audio version of Stone Guardian to celebrate Audiobook month!

From RT, I have the RT Convention bag, some pens, a couple glasses, some paper promo, and a few other things I’m forgetting.

From New Orleans, I’m including a dragon picture I picked up from a local shop. All things considered, I thought it was appropriate for a giveaway from me

To enter, you’ll have to either like me on my facebook author page or follow me on twitter, or both – that’s it, no other craziness required. Sorry guys, but USA only. Shipping would make me cry otherwise.

Good luck!

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What’s next for the Entwined Realms?

Mistakes. I’ve made a few.

This post is part mea culpa and part information overload. The information part has to do with the next books in my Entwined Realms series. Stone_Embrace_final800The sincere apologies – that comes from me making unthinking, unknowing, oops I had no clue goof-ups. All I can say in my defense is Stone Guardian was my first novel, and I didn’t know everything that went into doing this author stuff both in the home life side and in the online side. It’s been a lot of learning over the last nine months.

The biggest mistake I made was announcing release dates and not meeting them. Out of everything I’ve goofed on, I’m most embarrassed by that, and I truly apologize for not only the wait, but for disappointing the ones who have been standing beside me the longest. I could give all the details on what happened, but it’s common and kinda boring. In the end, what matters is I didn’t do what I said I would. One thing I can guarantee is it won’t happen again.

Cage_King_finalDani  – I imagine you all saying – I hear ya, and we’ll discuss later. Most important thing to me now? What’s the release schedule looking like and when can I expect some books? Can you tell me?

You bet! One thing I’ve learned is I’m not (yet) an author that can give a release date. But what I can do – and am comfortable in doing, since I’m far enough in all these books to give a good guess – is give a rough time frame. And that, my friends, is what I’ll do right now.

First up is Stone Embrace (top right), which is basically a 50 page extended epilogue to Stone Guardian. You’ll have dinner with the Miller clan (and watch Jack Miller and Terak discuss) and get some more relationship stuff with Larissa and Terak. Stone Embrace is going to be a free read – it was written as a thank you to my readers. Expect Stone Embrace end of Juneish.

Second will be a novella entitled The Cage King. It is meant to bridge between books 1 and 2. Why this instead of finishing the novel? Chalk that up to a (slight) mistake and author learning time. See, I was going to be part of an anthology with other authors who I admire very much, and the anthology was going to made up of all new material. Looking back, I shouldn’t have gone down this path, but I followed the new and shiny and plotted out this novella.

The anthology ultimately didn’t pan out, but though I tried to go back to finishing book 2, the reality was I put a few important world-building elements into The Cage KingDreamCrafterFront800 that have long-reaching effects, and I couldn’t think of an elegant way of unraveling that novella and placing the elements back into the main book series. So I forge ahead with this novella. No worries, Fallon and Laire are there to lend their unique flair, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it even though it’s not book 2. The Cage King will be out Augustish.

Finally, what you’ve all been waiting for. The Dream Crafter is book 2 in the Entwined Realms. A mercenary and a woman who controls dreams, battling over a powerful spellbook, on the run from the Guild, the necromancers, and a few brand-new baddies. Here you will experience a magical BDSM club, a redneck ninja, and a berserker who sings opera. What more could you need in a book, other than even more Fallon and Laire (who are of course on hand)? Nothing, I tell you. The Dream Crafter will be out late Septemberish.

Phew. That’s a lot of info. Hopefully this brings everyone up-to-date so there is no more confusion over what’s going on in the series.

Once again, I apologize for the craziness. You have come with me on my author adventure and learning, and I know it wasn’t the most fun. As my mom always told me, “Sorry is one thing, but how are you going to make it up?” In my case, I am going to be putting up both The Cage King and The Dream Crafter up free the first week they are available for sale, so everyone who has been so patient will be able to grab it up. It’s my way of saying Thank You for sticking by me, and I’m Sorry for being such a pain  🙂  If you want to be absolutely sure you know the moment it goes on sale, the best way I know of doing that is signing up for my newsletter – I promise I’ll email a couple times while the free is going on. As I stated above, Stone Embrace was written to be free – I’m never going to charge for it.

Take care everyone! See you around on twitter or facebook – but not too much, or feel free to tell me to get back to writing  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*SOB* Why can’t you be real?

Alternately titled – Why I hate April Fool’s. Full of awesome stuff you just can’t buy.

1ba2_rosetta_stone_for_klingonFor the original post, head over to ThinkGeek – and since you’re over there anyway, buy lots of stuff. They got some nifty things on that site *looks side-eye at my credit card statement*

 

Winner Announced!!!

iPad MINI GIVEAWAY WINNER ANNOUNCED!!!!!

It’s been an amazing celebration. One last time, I want to thank everyone for hanging with me and helping me spread the word about Toys for Tots. I had a lot of fun.

Before I announce the winner  🙂  ultimately this giveaway was about raising some money for charity. After the sales have been tallied, I am thrilled to report that $750 is going to Toys for Tots – and of course, that is not counting the money that some have chosen to donate on their own!

Thank you, bless you all.

Okay, enough of the mushy stuff!  We have a Grand Prize Winner to announce! And that winner is…..

ANGEL GRAHAM!!!!!

Congratulations Angel, I hope you enjoy your prize.

There are also several secondary prize packs going out, so make sure you look in your email to see if you won one of those  🙂

12 Days of Halloween

From about mid-October until Christmas was always a magical and much anticipated time when I was young.

Probably not an uncommon statement from a kid. My mom should have been a party planner, because our house was always decked out for the season. We were the house that people do that double-take with, because looking only once wasn’t enough to take it all in.

Mom’s favorite holiday was Halloween. Since I’m a fantasy/paranormal writer, it’s safe to say that rubbed off on me, and with kids of my own, I enjoy Halloween in a completely new way, with my kids excitement about dressing up and their enjoyment in the *fun* scares.

While her favorite might have been Halloween, Mom excelled in overall holiday planning. My mom was a generous lady. She never liked cooking, but she loved to bake the holiday pies and cookies and other goodies that come with the season, and everyone who knew us came away during the holiday season with loads of culinary delights. If you ask me to name my favorite food ever, it would have to be Mom’s pumpkin pie.

It’s probably because this time was usually so joyous that one memory sits there, lumpy and misshapen and not a fit with the rest.

Don’t ask me how old I was, but I came down the stairs one night – going to get some water I think – and Mom was on the couch, staring at the Christmas tree. The packages weren’t under the tree yet, which was odd since Mom tended to put them under as soon as the tree went up (Mom is not a last minute shopper – in fact, I’m pretty sure her shopping is done in July.) Now I haven’t believed in Santa ever, so it was no question in my mind about who presents come from.

What set this memory in my mind so sharply was my mother’s face the few moments before she realized I was in the room. At the time I didn’t have the words or the emotional knowledge to name what emotions were in play. All I knew was it wasn’t good.

Several years later we were talking, and in the way of conversations everywhere, somehow that night came up, and I asked Mom what was going on.

She confided that when I saw her, the reality of our situation was none of us kids were going to get Christmas presents. It had been a bad year with lots of doctor bills and not as much work as they hoped to get. Maybe they would be able to get a practical clothing item, but certainly nothing beyond that. Then she told me that a couple days after I saw her that night, her uncle heard about our situation. Without her or my dad asking, he went out and got presents for us kids and told her that it was his early Christmas gift to her and he would not accept any money or repayment.

Mom told me she cried while she wrapped them. She told me it was the best gift she’d ever gotten.

While my childhood would never fit in a Dickinson narrative, there were a few years there where we did with minimal, so hearing after-the-fact that no presents was a possibility didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was the lurch in my chest at the thought of it as a near reality. That didn’t make sense – after all, we were several years past by then, and I was a grown person who understood economic realities.

That lurch, though, was real. And as time has marched on, I think I understand the reason for it, just like now that I’m a mother I understand the look on my mother’s face that night. The holidays were a safe and sacred time. The rest of the year – okay, it’s life, and life happened. But in my memory, the holidays were apart from that, not touched with the ickiness that could happen at other times.

If I didn’t getToys for tots presents that year, I think that safety and warmth that the holidays (or the thought of) always caused would have disappeared. I wouldn’t have had that protective bubble anymore that helped get me through bad times, and the loss of that would have been a greater tragedy than not getting a doll under the tree.

So while Toys for Tots was not responsible for me getting presents that year, I recognize in a deep and personal way the very good work they are doing.

Toys for Tots is my favorite holiday charity. There are many excellent charities I celebrate and give to, but this time of year my thoughts and my wishes are for the kids who are not in the best circumstances and are in danger of not having a gift under their own tree. It’s not the material item that matters (though it’s always nice to get a great gift, right?) What I never want them to lose is that safe warmth that should categorize the holidays, a warmth that sometimes might be the only thing that gets them through the rest of the year.

Which leads me to the 12 Days of Halloween!StoneGuardian800

12 Days of Halloween is my (and many other excellent authors) way of having a great time and celebrating the beginning of this wondrous time of year – with giveaways and gifts and raising money for Toys for Tots!

What is involved?

First! My novel Stone Guardian is on a very special sale. From now until Halloween, it is half-off with part of the proceeds going to Toys for Tots! So you get a book for cheaper than usual, and a chunk of the money will be going to an amazing cause! Huzzah!

And on the other side, I’ll be sharing lots of giveaways! Ebooks (donated by many generous authors) gift cards, swag sets, a Coach (!) bag, and finally…

apple-ipad-mini-2An iPad Mini!

Yes, you read that right – an iPad mini with a special Entwined Realms designed cover set is the grand prize.

So if you are interested in ALL THE GOODIES (I did mention lots of ebooks and giftcards which will be given away throughout the celebration, right?), please keep up with me at twitter, facebook, or right here on Romantic Geek Girl with all the ways to win.

Let’s celebrate the beginning to this great time of year, have a great party, maybe win some stuff, and most important of all – support Toys for Tots and make sure they can help a lot of kids this year!

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Sneak Peek and First Read – Stone Guardian

StoneGuardian800As you may have heard a time or two by now, my FIRST novel-length story is coming out in July. This world and these characters have been living with me for the past couple years, so that I now have the opportunity to share them makes me grin ear to ear.

Stone Guardian is the first book of the Entwined Realms series. The series is set in an alternate world – this world looks just like our everyday world, but magic and magical creatures are real and co-exist. So you can be on your way to work and see an elf riding the subway car with you. You can look out the window of your building and see a gryphon flying by. Magic is regulated but that won’t necessarily stop a couple mages from fighting over the last mocha available at the local coffeeshop.

And of course, there are bad guys. Necromancers bide their time and wait until they can unleash their master plan…

Because I’m about as impatient as a person can be, I’m offering a sneak peak of my story. Unedited – we’re in the middle of edits now, so this will probably be tweaked a touch when in its final form.

I debated what to put up. In the end, I decided to give you the introduction to two of my favorite characters, Fallon and Laire. They are so much fun and tickle me no end. Plus, you’ll get a touch better explanation about this world.

Without further ado, I present – Stone Guardian

 

*** The whoosh of students running past her in the hallways, the slamming of lockers, the girls talking about their hair and clothes and make-up and the boys talking about the girls – all welcome signs of normalcy to Larissa as she made her way to her first class of the morning.

The bell rang moments before she entered the door. “OK everyone, that was the bell. Settle down and take your seats,” Larissa said as she headed towards her desk, placing her bag on the chair and taking out graded papers and lesson plans.

Juvenile grumbling, paper rustling, and feet shuffling met Larissa’s words in first period History. The mood was not a shiny happy one.

Ah yes, what senior in high school didn’t just love being up this early, especially on a Monday morning with only a few weeks until vacation. It was about time to petition for hazard pay.

Larissa handed out papers and accepted homework, answered some questions and shushed Jason Evans after he let out a wolf whistle when she passed. All in all, a normal Monday, making the events of this weekend seem even more surreal.

Necromancers after her? No, no.

A gargoyle protector? What an insane notion.

“Now,” said Larissa, coming to stand in front of the room. “We are going to get into a favorite topic for most.  We are going to discuss the Great Collision.”

As expected, a hush fell over the room. No student could keep up the façade of indifference when the topic of the Great Collision came up, reason numero uno she always saved it for Mondays. “So, twenty-six years ago, probably the most momentous moment in history outside of the actual creation of life occurred.  I’ll let your science teachers explain the theories behind why it happened, parallel dimensions and quarks and neutrons and all that good stuff.  That’s not for my discussion here.”

“You trying to tell us you weren’t a science genius, Miss Miller?”

Ah, Jason Evans, star quarterback and all around smart-ass. Class would not be the same if he didn’t inject his too cool for school attitude into her lectures at least once a day. “Science is wonderful, Mr. Evans.  I do admit though, I never had quite the head for it.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask Mr. Patel to go into details for you. Anyway, the Great Collision.  In layman’s terms…”

“Dummy terms!” Jason interjected.

“Layman’s terms,” Larissa continued on, not bothering to waste breath to engage him. “Our universe is comprised of multiple dimensions. How many is still a question the scientific community is grappling with, but that has no bearing here. What matters for our discussion is two of these dimensions collided. One dimension was very similar to what you see around you every day – skyscrapers, cars, computers – but in this dimension humans were the only sentient race and no magic existed. I’m sure many of your parents have already told you stories about the good old days.”

Groans sounded then, followed by tales of parental misconduct. Larissa let it go for a few moments before bringing attention back to her. “The other realm was a realm of sword and sorcery. Elves and dwarves existed here, as well as countless other races and magical creatures. For simplicity, we have come to label these dimensions the Human Realm and the Magic Realm, though humans did exist in the Magic Realm. They just weren’t the only sentient race.”

A hand rose at the back of the class. “Miss Miller, my mom told me we used to use oil and electricity for power, not magic.”

Larissa nodded.  “That is true. You see, what seems to have happened at the Great Collision is the Human Realm absorbed the Magic Realm. That’s why Earth looks much like it did before, but now it is infused with magic. I’m sure those old folks of thirty-five and above can give you a huge list of all the small changes between then and now.”

“But Earth wasn’t altogether unchanged,” a female voice interrupted. Taneasha Jackson reminded Larissa of herself at a younger age, too smart by half and surrounded by family who protected her to the point of suffocation. The young woman was more likely to be found in a library than at any of the school events.

“No, it wasn’t,” said Larissa. “There is a section of Earth that was changed. This is caused by Necromantic magic.”

“Are we going to talk about Necromancers?” asked Jason with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Not as much as you probably want,” Larissa said. Not at all, if she had a choice. An eye hanging out of its socket, and she rubbed the heel of her palm against her forehead as if the motion could erase the image. “But yes, when we get into talking about the different classifications of magic, such as transmutation, illusion, conjuration…”

“Necromancy,” added Jason.

“You are beginning to worry me, Jason,” she said to the young man, who looked unrepentant. “Why are you not supposed to be so excited over Necromancers?”

In the tone of someone who is humoring you and wants you to know it, Jason said, “They derive their power from death.”

“Exactly,” said Larissa.

“But all the girls love vampires, and I’d look hot with red eyes,” Jason said, causing some girls to giggle and smile in his direction.

“Yes, well, while all Vampires are Necromancers, not every Necromancer is a Vampire. Only the strongest of Necromancers become true Vampires.”

Jason leaned back in his seat, a satisfied smirk over his mouth. “Gives me something to work for, then I’d have an eternity with the ladies.” The guys all started high-fiving amongst themselves, and Larissa shushed them before the words got too far out of hand.

Taneasha spoke again.  “I want to learn more about the fantastical creatures that we thought were just myths until they appeared after the Collision. I really want to see a unicorn one day.”

It was almost scary how the young woman echoed her own younger years. “I was always fascinated by the new races and creatures myself.”

“Ever see any, Miss Miller,” said a voice from the back.

Not until three days ago. “No, I’ve lived in the city all my life and never traveled outside of it.”

Another male voice from the back said, “Unicorns are too girly. I want to see gryphons, basilisks, dragons, like that.”

And from the doorway came the response, the voice a smooth feminine growl. “There are no dragons.”

Larissa hadn’t heard the door open and turned to question why someone was interrupting her class.

The textbook Larissa was holding slipped from nerveless fingers, causing a sharp crack as the second silence of the morning fell over the classroom.

In the open doorway stood the redheaded woman from Friday night, her gaze locked on Larissa as she leaned against the frame, her arms and legs crossed in what would have been a relaxed posture for anyone else, but on this woman it seemed more akin to leashed watchfulness.

The woman continued, “Dragons were as much a myth on the Magic Realm as in ours, disappointing as that seems.” She smiled then, the barest trace of a dimple in her grin. “Or maybe not. Having a dragon fly overhead would not be my idea of a good time.”

She was the very definition of an Amazon – taller than some men with broad shoulders and long limbs displaying muscle, but her evident strength only highlighted how very feminine she was. She had classic features most women would kill for and hourglass curves her musculature enhanced.

A higher-pitched feminine grunt came from behind the redhead, and the redhead’s body shifted as she glanced behind her. “Move your ass, Fallon. I want to see her. I missed all the excitement, remember?”

“If you quit poking me, I will,” the redheaded woman said to whoever was back there, and took several steps into the room.

Larissa’s mouth gaped as she beheld the person coming in behind the amazon.

This woman was short. Very short. So short even the platform heels on her shoes only brought her to average height.  She was wearing an elaborate jade green kimono – except unlike a traditional kimono the skirt ended mid-thigh – with matching jade hair styled in three rolls and piled so high it added an extra half-foot of height to the woman.

It was hard to tell what age or ethnicity the woman was under her dramatic kabuki make-up.  Best guess, early-to-mid-twenties, and Japanese but mixed with some European ancestry.

The unnatural quiet the class had been under broke. With one voice, her students started calling out questions – about the women, what they were doing here, why did they want to talk to Miss Miller?

“Quiet,” the woman called Fallon said, her voice level but her tone absolute, and in a situation Larissa had never before experienced her class shut up as they were told. “Miss Miller, I have some questions for you. Please step outside with me.”

The small Japanese woman hopped onto Larissa’s desk, crossing her legs once she was seated.  “It might have sounded like a request, but it really wasn’t.” She flicked her fingers at Larissa in a dismissive gesture. “You need to go. I’ll stay with the kiddies.”

Sure enough, the redhead didn’t look like she was moving, and Larissa didn’t want to have this conversation in front of her students. Stifling a sigh, she said, “Class, talk quietly amongst yourselves for a few minutes.  I’ll be right back.”

There was an empty classroom a few rooms down. Larissa went in, not bothering with politeness to allow the woman to enter first. The redhead followed, though not before her eyes scanned the room. Classic tactical maneuver. No cop in the world ever entered anywhere before getting the lay of the land.

The woman didn’t crowd her, but her unwavering gaze and unvoiced suspicions made breathing a tad difficult, like wearing a shirt with a constrictive collar. It was so different than what she felt that night with the gargoyle, where towards the end of the night their interactions edged into the companionable.

Larissa cleared her throat, ready to start this inquisition. “This is private property. You are not permitted to come into my school and disrupt my teaching of my students.”

“I didn’t just walk in. I asked the Superintendent for permission.”

School politics being what they were, the Superintendent clearing the way for this woman meant she had some power backing her. “Did you inform him of what happened that night?” Though there would be no reason for the Superintendent to believe the redhead even if she did. Larissa had come home to find not a single trace of the battle, and no mention of it made the news the next day.

“There was no reason to. I simply said I needed to speak with you. He didn’t need the details.”

Larissa sat down. No sense on getting a crick in her neck looking up at the woman. “How did you know where to find me, or who I am? Who are you, for that matter?”

“Me? I’m Fallon, and the monochrome midget currently alone with your students is Laire. We’re part of a special group that protects the city.”

Larissa crossed her arms in front of her chest. “If you’re part of a group that protects the city, then why didn’t I know you existed before today?”

“We like to keep our specialness under wraps. Not everyone tends to appreciate how wonderful us special people are.”

“You mean the type of specialness that has a man appearing out of shadows from a solid wall?”

Fallon nodded. “He is a prime example.”

Terak hadn’t mentioned anything about them being protectors of the city, but as he was tight-lipped about them in general that was not surprising. However, Dad had never told her about any such group. So if this woman was telling the truth, that either meant Dad had kept this from her – and given his standard modus operandi that wouldn’t be a shock – or this group was very, very secret.

And if a very, very secret group told you about their existence…

“Oh gods, you’re going to kidnap me right now, aren’t you?”

The corner of Fallon’s lip quirked at Larissa’s outburst, that shadow of a dimple again displayed. “Your students just saw you walk out of a room with me. It would be kind of stupid for me to grab you and run.”

“You could make them forget. Who knows what kind of magic you can perform.”

“I don’t do magic. I turn your attention back to Friday night and the big-ass sword I was carrying around. My job is to run and swing.”

Larissa’s head was heavy on her shoulders. Laying it on the desk and closing her eyes until the woman disappeared would be heaven. Unfortunately, there was no chance Fallon would cooperate. “What do you want from me?”

Fallon walked over and crouched in front of her, bringing them to eye level. “What happened Friday?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. You were there so you obviously knew what was going to happen.”

Annoyance reflected itself in Fallon’s features. “You would think I should have been told the reason I was there, but no, the person who sent me doesn’t believe in giving anyone details. They think it’s enough to just send you on your way.” By the end of the sentence Fallon’s head was moving in rhythm to her words, emphasizing the dislike in her tone.

Not anxious to step on this particular minefield, Larissa still had to ask. “What about afterwards? Couldn’t you get any information from the zombies?”

“No. No information from that path.” Fallon’s tone was a stop sign, telling Larissa no questions asked down that path would be answered.

Larissa swiveled in the chair and stood, needing space. “I don’t know why the zombies were there. I wasn’t even supposed to go out that night. It was a spur of the moment decision to join my dad’s poker game. I think it was a coincidence, nothing more.”

Fallon stood as well, and Larissa conceded that Fallon rising to her full height was a much more impressive scene than she could ever pull off. “What about the gargoyle?”

“What about him?” Good, no cracks in her vocals. Learning to deflect her father’s questions was paying off in unexpected ways.

Fallon’s eyebrow arched at that. “He flew away with you. You were gone for a considerable length of time. Are you telling me that happens to you every day?”

“Of course not. I don’t know why he was there either. He flew me away, and I guess when he decided it was safe, he brought me back?”

“That simple?”

“Well, at the time it wasn’t! At the time I was scared to death. Actually, I’m still sleeping with my lights on. But I don’t know what to tell you when I have no clue why what happened on Friday night… happened. I swear, I think it was completely a random event. Zombies attacked, you appeared, the gargoyle appeared. The more time that passes, the more it becomes a blur in my head, which is good, because I want to forget it!”

Fallon stared at her like she was a bug under a microscope. Breathing as she did in her yoga class, Larissa quieted her mind, quieted her body. She would not give away anything to his woman. No matter what assurances Fallon gave, the little warning bell in the back of her skull was still sounding an alert.

Fallon’s body relaxed, the signal to Larissa that she won this round. At least she wouldn’t be kidnapped right now, but Larissa didn’t need the narrowing of Fallon’s eyes to tell her that the amazon was not yet finished with her. “By all means, you know nothing and the gargoyle flew you around for a couple hours before taking you home. Why, it almost sounds romantic.”

“I need to get back to my class now.”

“Of course, who am I to deprive those poor children of their education?  Then again, Laire is probably educating them beyond their wildest dreams.”  Fallon went to the door and opened it, then turned and motioned for Larissa to precede her out.

As Larissa entered her classroom again, she saw her students scribbling furious notes, their expressions sharpened as they seldom were for any of her lectures.

Then she heard the Japanese woman speak.

“Yes, I do realize men who have an Orc ancestor tend to be really ugly, but that’s why they invented paper bags.  Trust me, as long as a guy knows he’s getting some, he’ll wear a pink bunny costume if that’s what’s needed to seal the deal.  What matters here and what you need to remember is guys that have some Orc in them are hung like nobody’s business.  If you like your men large and dominating, make a beeline for them.”

“What about elves?” called a male student.

“Elves are ridiculously high maintenance.  If that’s fine with you, the key for elves is the ears and the back.  Sure, they like the other areas just fine, but you want to make one a little puddle of goo, spend ten minutes massaging their back.  It’s practically a sure thing after that.”

“What are you telling my students?”  While Larissa’s squeaky tone may not have been what one would call commanding, it did stop the small woman from talking.

“I was just answering questions. They are woefully unprepared to enter the real world,” Laire said, turning back to a student in the front with her hand up.

“I think that’s enough question and answer. Let’s go,” said Fallon, a quick movement of her head signaling the other woman to get off the desk.

“But Fallon, they need educated.  You wouldn’t believe the misconceptions they had about how to have sex with a shifter.”

Fallon walked over to the desk and grabbed the woman’s ear, walking towards the door without waiting to see if Laire was on her feet yet. “Ow, Fallon, ow! Let go, I’m coming, I’m coming!”

“Goodbye, Miss Miller,” Fallon said.  Larissa didn’t have to be a mind reader to see the for now Fallon mentally added onto the end of that sentence.

Fallon walked towards the door, pulling the small woman behind her.  “I knew I should have brought Aislynn,” Fallon said as they left the classroom.

Laire’s snort was loud and clear though her voice was fading, their steps indicating they were walking away from the classroom.  “Good idea to bring an elf amongst hormonal high school seniors.  Do you really think Ais wants to be the jerk-off fantasy of the graduating class… OWWWWWWWWW!”***

 

Like what you read? Make sure to add it to your Goodreads to-be read list!  Release date July 15!!!

Goodreads Giveaway (translation – Free Book!)

Throwing a Goodreads Giveaway for my first book!

Enter, peoples!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Fairy Tales and Ever Afters, Volume One by Danielle Monsch

Fairy Tales and Ever Afters, Volume One

by Danielle Monsch

Giveaway ends May 31, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

New Release! Loving a Prince Charming available April 22!

Another release day and LIFE IS GOOD! Loving a Prince Charming, third book in my Fairy Tales & Ever Afters series, releases April 22!

LovingaPrinceCharming_800pxInstead of giving you a long, rambling post on the process of writing this story, let’s just give you the blurb and leave it at that, shall we?

Honor and Integrity were more than words to Seth – they were the values he lived his life by. As Prince of a large kingdom, putting duty before desire was vital for the prosperity and wellness of his people. If sometimes he looked at Kira – best friend since childhood and his personal guard – and regretted his betrothal to the Princess of a neighboring kingdom, well, that was the price he had to pay for his people’s happiness.

Even if that Princess was cursed and given the nickname Sleeping Beauty.

Seth discovers the way to end the curse and, against his father’s wishes, sets off on a perilous journey to free her with Kira by his side. But Kira represents a different type of danger…  Only love can break the curse, but how can Seth keep his promise to protect Sleeping Beauty when every moment with Kira makes his heart damn duty and demand its desire?

Of course I shall be posting links and tweeting as the book becomes live. Woo-hoo and happiness and joy!

And by-the-by, now that I have your attention, did you know I’ve started a newsletter? I have! Sign-up for the newsletter by April 25 and you shall be entered in a giveaway to win a $25 Amazon GC.

 

COVER REVEAL! Stone Guardian – First book in my Entwined Realms series!

StoneGuardian800

Look at that work of art, that beautiful beautiful expression of talent. Have you ever seen anything so amazing in your life? Of course you haven’t! Impossible, that.

In case you couldn’t tell, my giddiness upon looking at this cover is unending. This here is the cover to my very first novel-length work, a story that is dear to me.

Stone Guardian is the first book in the Entwined Realms series. It is my modern-day sword & sorcery fantasy paranormal romance series (I dare you to say that three times fast – go on, I’ll wait.) What does that craziness mean exactly? It means awesomeness, that’s what! Of course, if you want a little more explanation that that, let this blurb help a tad:

Gryphons flying past Skyscrapers? Wizards battling it out in coffeehouses? Women riding motorcycles with large swords strapped to their backs? All normal sights since the Great Collision happened twenty-six years ago.

Well, not normal for everyone. Larissa Miller may have been born after the Great Collision, but as a history teacher who lives in the human-only city, she has never come into contact with any other race or species. That is, until one day is walks out of her apartment and is attacked by a mob of Zombies but then saved by a Gargoyle.

Leader of the Gargoyles, Tarek has been watching over the human woman for months. Gargoyles trust no one outside their Clan, but something about this woman stirs every protective instinct within him, and when he realizes the danger to her is real, he refuses to allow her to explore this new world without him at her side.

In the course of their investigation Tarek becomes entranced by his little human. But when he discovers why Necromancers want her and the great reward that awaits him if he betrays her, he must choose between the welfare of his Clan and not only Larissa’s life, but the fate of this new Realm as well.

What does this mean exactly? It means I get to put all my geek loves into one series, that’s what it means! It means people will fall in love, there will be swordfights and magic fights, bad guys will be killed off… occasionally good guys will be killed off.

There will be kissing and snarkiness and magical creatures and the ever-popular Elven drag show – though who can tell the male elves from the females, right?

In short, we are going to have a good time, and I hope you’ll join me for the adventure.

Stone Guardian will be available in July! Don’t worry, I promise I won’t forget to tell you when the time comes  🙂

 

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